Celebrating "Us" - Lucky 13

Today September begins, and we inch one step closer to school starting, work and church fall programming ramping up, and summer winding down. I am ready for fall and ready to end the record-hot weather and humidity we've been having - what a summer to be preggo!

This weekend also marks thirteen years of being married to my best friend, of being wedded to one of the best people on the planet, and to figuring out life's ups and downs, promises and struggles with someone else next to my every move. I was reminded this weekend, when we went on our simple but precious anniversary adults-only dinner and evening walk, that my everyday, ordinary, thirteen years with this man have been pretty amazing. Sometimes in this stage (let's call it mid-thirties), I have looked around and been frustrated with where I am, have felt behind or off track or, say, pregnant and under-employed (theoretically, of course.) :) Sometimes I have heard people talk about promotions or plans or pursuits and wondered, did we miss something? Those people "over there" seem to have "that stuff" figured out, and I wonder, do we? We still rent, we parent well but often with questions, we only sometimes get healthy food on the table, we usually don't vacuum every week, we forget laundry in the dryer, and I don't always get out birthday cards. We still talk about our dreams and have good friendships and deep conversations about the big stuff, but we also grieve, we are tired more than we used to be, and we can forget to ask for help. I can compare myself to a whole range of folks who seem to get various different categories down better then I do, or who seem more grown up or together or ahead in some way. All this means that I sometimes forget where I am, and what I already have.  

One certainty that I am feeling more strongly about the older I get, even with the questions that remain (and yes they do), is that Peter and I - we are really good at being, us. In the same way, I am really good at being just me, but I still suck at trying to be a lot of other people. And even though when I was eighteen years old, when I started college and met this blond guy in black jeans in the biology labs of North Park, I would have confidently told you that I KNEW who I was and would never get stuck aiming to be someone else - that is still something I have to remind myself of now, here in my thirties. :) Somehow that blond guy has been a constant in every sense of the word since those freshman days - alongside and around me, ahead of and for me - helping me be me, helping make us an "us," this entity that is true and solid and rooted and thoughtful and so much more than we were before on our own, even as we are still independent and distinct within our "us."  

So - here is to celebrating who we are, who we've been and the everyday stuff that we ARE good at being. Here is a reminder (to me), that even on days that I don't know what I am doing, I can still just try to be me, and still learn, and I still have an amazing partner next to me to do that with. Here is to the stuff that makes us, US, and that I am so proud of, so blessed by, so grateful to have in our lives. And here is to a man, husband, daddy, provider, thinker, nurturer, lover, protector, striver, believer, risk-taker, learner, friend - my favorite - who I know is a gift from God in my life, in this rich and amazing and sometimes confusing life that I get to have.

Celebrating Us:            
- dancing in the kitchen and laughing, a lot
- conversations about everything, news updates, changing the world
- safe spaces for questions and others in pain
- tickling Eva in the mornings and cuddling every evening
- books and hot drinks and quiet shared next to each other
- bike rides and beach trips and camping and cabin trips
- museums and exploring and downtown adventures and travels
- adventures and risks and trying things out
- gardens, nature center, oceans and lakes, sunsets and beauty
- love letters, reading cards in the aisle, long emails, hidden notes 
- family and friends, inherited stories and changed futures
- small groups, dinner dates, homemade drinks, West Wing
- justice dinners and gathering people, real and casual connections
- walking home for lunch, checking the doors for me, getting up with Eva at night
- parenting and discussing and wondering and learning 
- grading tests and writing papers, deadlines and trading sleep
- road trips and conversations with mix cds and holding hands
- wrapping up and soft eyes and strong hands and long nights
- resolving fights and apologies and growing and changing
- making pancakes and sharing coffee, cooking and taking out the recyling
- worshiping and praying, wondering and challenging
- Eva on our shoulders, parks and gelato
- Italian food, African culture, the symphony, bowling
- healing wounds, being cracked, phone calls with friends, grief and loss
- lists and goals, ideas and movement, hope and growing deeper
- Chicago, Minneapolis, Michigan, Minnesota
- volunteering and helping, pitching in and focusing on the other
- authentic trust, deep abiding love, tender-hearted empathy and support
- Eva sandwich, running together, "hatching eggs" in the morning
- strength in grace, solid and honest listening, "what kind of people do we want to be?"    

Feels Like Summer!

June has been flying by - and before we head to our first pool trip of the summer, I wanted to remind myself of great family times we've been enjoying this spring-summer season. More to come I am sure, but if I don't record the little stuff, it seems to slip away...

- Eva finished her first year of preschool at NPCC Co-op, and loved it!
- I spoke at Cov Harbor's "Mother and Daughter Retreat," and loved it! Reminded me that I love teaching and preaching, and could try to take material from various sources I already have and interpret it for speaking. Was great fun to have Peter and Eva with me there too - Eva got on stage with me each time and wanted to sing the chorus of, "What you gotta be? I gotta be ME!"  Very cute.
- I also finished teaching a great Intro to Bible class - one of my most diverse and interesting, student-wise. I heard Cornel West speak at the NPU Justice Conference too - amazing guy. Lit the place up!
- Peter has a new job title: Business Systems Architect. It has a lot more work, meetings, and creativity attached to it - he is great at learning and organizing new info, he's done amazing at a full new job this season!
- Meghan had a baby shower! :) Little peanut and mom to be are looking good.
- We took a seriously long road trip to DC to visit baby Sofia and parents, and then trekked even further to Delmar Peninsula to camp at Asateague Island with Eva! Many more stories to come - including bugs, a beautiful baby, AC breaking, allergies to snap peas, Pittsburgh hotel, starbursts, summer play list, Polly Pocket dolls, Comm. Covenant Church, Devyn and Ryan super hosts, CRV rides, MLK monument, etc. etc.

Whew. I knew I had a lot to not forget. :)    

To My Four Year Old Girl

Eva Margaret, you turned four yesterday. We celebrated your birthday last weekend and had record high temperatures - wonder if we'll look back at pictures of you barefoot in the sun, blowing bubbles and in the sandbox, and always remember that this was the year you turned four? We've always had snow and ice at the end of March...

I've always loved watching you grow older, and resisted accepting what your age means at the same time. You are definitely more school-age girl than exploring toddler, more social butterfly than content to watch the action from the side. You've grown so much this past year, your little body, mind and soul. You're proud of buttoning up your 5 and 6T shirts on your own; your long arms, legs and torso continually make people guess you are much older then you are. You're getting into skirts that twirl, glittery nail polish and lip gloss, and like wearing my shoes, purses, and coats around the house. You don't like getting your hair brushed or having help brushing your teeth; a very common phrase around the house these days is, "I can do it myself." And in so many ways, you can. Your abilities grow like leaps and bounds, sprouting up and blossoming before our eyes.

Your little mind is catching everything lately, wondrous and clever and insanely logical for a barely four year old! You spelled m-o-m the other night in bed, as part of your drifting off to sleep, powering down your mind, routine. You asked how to spell "dad" and sounded it out on your own, repeating it twice before asking me the next question - was God sad when Jesus died? You're innately spiritual, connecting the dots between relationship and love and suffering and God in so many ways, and you want to know "why," "how," and "where" God is. I love seeing your mind grasp new information, like what animals are born by eggs and which grow in the momma's tummy - or what ingredients you remember go into pancakes or what directions we take to arrive at our destination. You have an uncanny memory and sense of place.

But even more then your leaps in knowledge, I love seeing your heart and soul grow. I see you watch friends who are kind or selfish and then wrestle with what to do; I hear you ask why some people are mean or why the robbers who died by Jesus didn't raise from the dead again. I hear you suggest that you could give some of your quarters to the hungry woman we met on the street, or to help at church. I know your struggle with feeling left out or hurt in some social situations and that sometimes you get so angry and defensive that you just shut down for the day. I see you smile and make up with friends too, accepting an apology or getting over your own guilt at a mistake. I wonder about how we are doing at stewarding this emotional capacity of yours, this intense empathy and well of emotion you carry around.

You come and tell us when you've done something wrong; sometimes its with the promise, "it's not that bad mom, it will be okay" - you are a natural negotiator. Other times you run and hide, or bury your face in my shoulder, feeling bad or nervous about what you've done. This week after quiet time you matter-of-factly came to tell me that you had cut your doll's hair - which is when I saw you had also cut your own bangs. You did a remarkable job, actually, let me trim the edges to even it out, and were happy with your hair being out of your face. You look even older now, the new hair darker brown and framing your cheeky face, your big earnest eyes sharing space with your long and layered hair now. You're such a beautiful girl, inside and out, and your expressiveness, bubbling joy, and flapping arms make you all the more lovely to look at.                      

A few weeks ago you made me "cards" of folded up paper and "read" the insides to me. My favorite one said, according to you, "Thanks for loving me mom, for giving me treats sometimes and not other times, and thanks that you and dad call me love bug." You wanted a birthday theme of butterflies and bugs, which I thought was perfectly girly and adventurous all in one, and you loved having bugs and raspberries on your chocolate birthday cake. We found an orange shirt at the thrift store that says "love bug" on it and its your current favorite. You tell me that you love me to the moon and back, all the way to Jesus holding the world in His hands and back, and to Canada and to the bottom of the ocean where the squid live really deep. How did you become so loving, so smart, and so funny so quickly?  

You teach me about being human each day, Eva M. You remind me to delight and see the world with wonder, to hug and hold and snuggle, to answer thoughtfully and to prepare things ahead of time, to have patience and to not raise my voice and to live out the words in my actions that I am trying to teach you. You remember everything we do or say, you mirror us at our best and sometimes worst, and you love your friends, your teachers, your godparents, your family - you love with deep and easy abandon. You try to tell jokes, try to add up things logically, and always want to see more friends and more people at the end of each day. You dance and sing by yourself and with us, turning the kitchen and your bedroom into miraculous performances, making up stories and relationship and drama each day. You like driving fast, having your window down in the car, and listening to your favorite "car music." You're in love with gardening, most animals, learning about how your body works, legos, trains, dressing your dolls, puzzles, crafts, and biking. You will jump off any surface possible, run laps and race to every new activity, and refuse to enter a dark room by yourself (I get it.) You also ask when we are coming back if dad or I leave home, and ask to be reassured sometimes that we will be there again the next morning.

Tonight at bedtime, you went through your normal rituals, "Good night mom, love you, sleep tight." Then you added, "Mom, I will never leave you, ok? See you in the morning."

Sometimes I love you so much that I ache little girl. I am so grateful and feel lucky that I get to be your mom; it's the best job in the world. I can't wait to see what the next year brings for your developing and beautiful little life. Happy fourth birthday my little love bug.    

Quoteables

"Baby you're a FIIIIIRE-Work, come on show them WHAAAAT you're worth...."  - Eva in the morning, from her bed, every morning when she wakes up


"What do you want to do when you grow up?" - Mom
"I want to be a ballet teacher, a mermaid, and a pastor!" - Eva

Everyday Memories....

I've noticed that it's sometimes hard for me to remember the little, everyday things that are full of joy and profound meaning - unless I write them down! We've had a gratitude-full and wonder-filled holiday season, starting with seeing family in MI for T-day, and now recently finishing with seeing all kinds of friends and fam around the city and then throughout MN for Xmas and New Yrs. I feel full of bright memories and meaningful moments; a few that I want to be sure to remember include:

- watching Eva tap dance her little heart out with her new shoes, fluffy skirt, (loud) recorder and (hipster) skull cap with the VerHage fam
- opening up our "Petersen Baby May 2012" cookie at Opart Thai
- Eva reading her fave books to herself, and to us, this season (Sergio, Party in Kalamazoo, B-Bears, The Skin You Live In, various Bible stories, etc.)
- Eva playing by the tree like I always did, just to stay close to it
- everyday - but such deeply good - friend time, like making cookies with Danielsons, caroling with Edstroms/crew, dinner with Marxs, soup with Nordlunds, museum with Leah, backyard fire with Bassetts, coffee with Al, late night chats with JR, etc.
- visits to Field and Shedd and Children's Museum in Mpls with Eva, and watching her run to each section with open-hearted joy
- having Bonnie in town for fun and on the run fried rice!
- lunch with mom and talking with dad in Rochester
- best peanut-butter choc blossom cookie batch - ever - a la Mom!
- seeing animated lights with J and K in Mpls
- New Yrs party fun with mustaches, karaoke, and good friends
- SS Advent series with various music, space to listen, and hearing tender/wise thoughts from others
- Eva getting into the season by dressing up as Santa Lucia, playing her first part in a play as a little angel in the church Christmas story, and attending Santa Lucia at the Swedish museum - insisting that we walk with the mile-long parade of candles and lights together!
- watching Eva play fox and goose through snow trails with Gramps, and get out old Barbies and use homemade playdough with Grammy  
- Little Town of Bethlehem at NPCC = unreal!
- Eva's preschool "concert" at her "PBS school" under the arched stained glass windows and twinkling Christmas lights
- seeing Eva delight in carefully crafting paintings, picture frames, sticker pages, etc. as gifts for others; and picking out a sweater that she loved to give to her dad  
- long lunch with Molly and Eric, enjoying so much in common and so much to learn from each other
- playing with Joey (and Jeanne and Paul!), in their sunny, warm and beautiful home
- brunch with Satte and playing in the freezing cold car with Eva ("Now Sarah, you and mom are the girls and I will be the mom that drives us to the museum exhibit," says my three year old!)
- getting jeans that fit and discovering body sugar scrub for dry skin!
- Christmas Day night darts with Bo and Megs, Josh ("Have I seen you since Thailand?"), and having a Bruce sighting :)
- date night with Peter at Zzest, great long car drive conversations, and laughing a lot
- Blue Nativity night, with "The baby Jesus was just light, mom!" and "Why didn't the camel try to eat me?"
- Eva playing baby Jesus with me as Mary and Peter as the manger
- night out for just our family of three, shopping at Red Balloon, getting hot cider at Cafe Latte, and skipping up the sidewalks while singing in the frosty night air
- reading the Christmas story over and over and over to an eager listener/questioner at her bedtime
- drives and chats in the minivan while on the way to Owatonna, the airport, and around town with my fave Seattle family members
- walking around my home town and seeing the old/familiar and the new/surprising with equal delight
- Eva asking, "Mom, does God love monsters too?" 
- driving while watching E dance to the music in the back seat, singing her heart out, along with "Do You Hear What I Hear?" - and then knowing she will always crescendo to a loud finish, with her arms flung wide open, "He will bring, us, goodness, and LIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!"

Three-Year Old Theology: Re-Mastering Basics

Eva continues to have some serious interest in talking through Bible stories and theological concepts with me, much to my delight. :) Her recent questions involve understanding what Christmas is all about, and why Jesus was born a baby and then later on died, and where Jesus went when he went back into heaven after His resurrection. I can never tell exactly how much she is understanding, but at random times she will ask me a specific question about a detail that surprises me with what she must be digesting from our conversations. It is fascinating to watch her little mind connect the dots, and I realize that because of her I am being pushed to both simplify and deepen my own theology when explaining these eternal concepts to her.

I've recently decided that three-year old theology just might be a favorite topic of mine! It makes enough sense at this age to include details, names, places, and to string together the main pieces of the OT narratives with the NT life of Jesus into one big story that talks about God. But it still has to stay simple, be woven together, and stay focused on the main point. And I keep being amazed that Eva basically asks all of the same questions about faith and God that most adults do, just without any pretense, baggage or cleaned-up words. She just wonders aloud about the usual suspects when it comes to faith - like why Jesus died, why she can't see Him now, why kings in the OT were bad, why God got mad at people in that city, how God made oceans, why there are more church then just hers, what pastors do, and how Jesus is God and also was a baby. It's basically her mind trying to wrap around the key concepts of trust, prayer, faith, the trinity, theodicy, sin, the church, death and the resurrection. Which we as adults are all still trying to wrap our minds around most days, I think.

But much deeper than having fun telling her the stories, and more important than smiling when she wants to pretend she is baby Moses in the river, I am keenly aware that telling her about Jesus needs to be backed up with actions and experience. Maybe it is the Pietist in me, but I already know that Eva doesn't need to memorize the Sunday School answers or recite back names and dates. She doesn't even need to just be able to explain how Jesus died and rose again at Easter, key as that knowledge is. I want her to be amazed by it all, to feel the potency of a God who was born under a bright star as a baby and loves her, HER. I want her to know that she can talk to God any time, ask questions about her faith, and to see connections between her everyday world and the stories about faith. I want her to feel loved and comfortable in church, knowing she is welcome and treasured and that God meets her there. I want her to feel safe and valued by this big strong God, and also recognize the mystery and majesty of this one true and Great King. I want her to see her dad and me pray, ask for forgiveness, handle relationships with patience and grace, work through
discipline and relationships and life with the joy of the Lord and the strength that the Bible promises.

And here is where I am challenged and so encouraged by three-year old theology. I know that this theology needs to be consistent, focused on the main things, and not just a head game. I know that she is watching and soaking up life every minute, and that I don't always actually practice a relationship with God or to the world like I tell her about. And in a unique way, I am more driven to re-master the basics of my faith because of this new young audience member, more driven than I have ever been to write a brilliant paper or to appear to have leadership and maturity for my professional or personal life. This is my daughter's story of faith that is being written. Thankfully it is not all up to me to be perfect, to know it all, or even to shape her faith. It is up to me to remember these basics, to have help along the way from others, to model and practice the ups and downs of the life of faith and let her learn from and with me, and to try to access that childlike faith and joy that I see in her eyes when we read the stories. What a gift that the same God that I've known for thirty years is reminding me, through this sweet little girl and her wide-eyed interest, that it is really still about the same stuff it has always been. I can rest and also give over much of the other stuff, in my own faith and in my mothering, I have realized. Unless its the basic practices and connection to the story of Jesus that I want to make sure Eva sees acted out and explained, unless its really the big stuff, the most basic stuff really, I can let go of the clutter.  


Peter and I watched the enigmatic movie, "Tree of Life," tonight. It is an unusual movie in many ways, and the pacing and plot are very, well, un-plot like and different than a usual Hollywood production. But its a deeply theological story that opens with a quote from Job ("Where were you when I created the heavens and the earth?"), and that threads whispers from characters asking questions of God throughout the movie. It artistically opens up categories like the meaning of life, suffering, control, faith, goodness, beauty, nature, grace, love, family, brotherhood, marriage, and childhood in very unique ways. I enjoyed a lot of it, and it got me thinking; Tree of Life, in its own way, is trying to answer these same, three-rear old theological realities that are so hard to grasp. Why does God seem to let bad things happen? Are we in control of our lives, or is God? Are we rewarded for being fair, just, and hard-working, or is life capricious? Do goodness and love and grace really win out in the end? Why do we do what we don't want to do? Are we alone, does God listen to us for real - and how do we know? How do we get back to the innocence of childhood? How do our families and their implied patterns and explicit tensions shape our lives? How do we recover from grief, pain and loss?

At one point in the movie near the end, a central child character realizes that the anger and frustration that he's been struggling with has lifted. He apologizes to his brother who he hurt, he comforts another sibling, makes overtures toward his stern father, and somehow the cloud is lifted. The voice-over at this point is poignant; his childlike voice says, "I didn't know how to name You then. But I see it was You. Always. You were calling me."

I could have said that exact same thing about my understanding of God at five years old, and at fifteen, and again when I was twenty-five. And next year, when I turn thirty-five, I can still testify that I continue to circle through this reality of not always recognizing where God is, and wondering if I am heard, if I am seen, if I am enough - and then it comes to me. I find the words, it becomes clear - the truth of God always being with me, and always calling me, becomes real and experienced in my own story once again.      

Adjusting to Preschool

You probably know that Eva started attending preschool this fall; maybe we told you about it, or you saw pictures we've posted. But it's likely that if you ever talk to Eva in person, on the phone, while skyping, etc., she will randomly tell you, several times, "Did you know, I go to school now!" (Insert her hands flapping in excitement, here.)

We ended up starting her at a Montessori school this fall for three half-days each week, after visiting and trying to find space for her at various preschools in our neighborhood. Overall, we feel happy with this choice for her and have seen her learning and growing a lot - she's expanding her knowledge, growing in pre-reading skills, making new friends, often excited to tell us about her day, has bonded with certain teachers, etc. But in addition to the great things about having this new experience and structure for our fall, starting preschool has also been hard. We've had difficult mornings getting her out the door, including one or two days when she really did not want to go to school. Early on we had one painful morning where both Eva and I cried when I left her at school; while I felt bad about that the whole day, Eva seemed to not even remember it by the time I picked her up, thankfully, and was excited to attend the next day (yes, that response and recovery from her was a big relief for me!)

From what I hear from other parents, the adjustment after starting your child in day care or preschool for the first time always brings some bumps in the road. I am trying to figure out during this new season what is normal, or fairly understandable adjustment stresses, for Eva and for us and what things we could maybe work to improve or change or pay attention to more carefully. As my mom always said, in my opinion the goal for young children attending a school is mainly to learn to love it and to love learning, not ingest a bunch of knowledge or be able to produce or excel. I also know a lot of the learning at three years old is social, and Eva is learning what it feels like to not have mom or dad there to interpret and present the world in a certain way. She is learning to follow directions with new accuracy, and per the Montessori system, is getting really good at putting away toys, rolling up her rug in a "happy" shape, and spouts new words, names of continents, letter sounds, and drawing skills all the time.

The hardest thing for me to assess at this stage is Eva's emotional health and how we could, or if we should, try to intentionally address how attending school has impacted that area of her life. My suspicion is that Eva is more sensitive than the average kid; she notices the tones, facial expressions, emotional reactions, language, and body language of her classmates and teachers with great detail, and they each can have a profound affect on her. She routinely reports hearing mad voices, or seeing sad kids, at school and is saddened by that from time to time. However, much of this is very normal for Eva and happens everywhere, including at church, with other friends, family members, with strangers, etc. For example, she sometimes thinks the check out lady at the grocery store is "mad" if she is in a hurry and doesn't smile directly at us; she often thinks that animals in a book illustration are sad if they have small eyes or straight mouth drawn. So I know my daughter enough to know that thinking people are mad or sad at school doesn't mean that they necessarily are. However, there may be (and probably are) various negative/neutral emotions at school that do impact Eva. Whether or not the people she is around feel a certain way or not, whatever feeling Eva interprets can stress her out and create some worry or other reactions in her. What to do here?  I know that this is part of life, part of growing up and entering a space outside of our home, and indeed is probably a healthy and needed part of seeing various feelings and reactions and learning alongside others how to cope with those. But seeing her reaction to emotions in her world creates one of those pulls for me as a mom. I feel a bit stuck and I wonder, do I jump in here? Do I protect? Do I watch and wait and pray? Do I do all of the above in various ways? I don't want to carefully craft every environment she is in or over-control social spaces just to spare her feelings, nor do I want her to be afraid or sad, or start to avoid school or lose her love of learning.

So as parents, I think Peter and I are learning this fall too - learning more about our girl and ourselves and how to parent and teach well. I went in and observed her classroom today and had SUCH a great time seeing her proud and obeying directions and showing off for her mom. :) She introduced me to her friends and the teachers emphatically and with arms flapping, "This is my MOM! Her name is LIZ!"  I teared up more than once as her obvious pride for me visiting shown through, as she marched and traced letters and sang songs, while looking over at me every thirty seconds with a smile and watching for my approval. Seeing her do all these things with ease that I didn't teach her, noticing the obvious fruits of being in this learning environment, she seemed both so old and yet so little and vulnerable to me today.

This parenting a little person thing is hard! She is only three and I already think all the time about how to guide her feelings, her relationships, her learning, her sense of being attached and safe and unconditionally supported. And when to not guide or craft, and when to choose to let her feel or fail or learn something hard, because that may be what she needs at times, too. I am still learning how to understand and discern what this little girl most needs from me and Peter - so btw, any great books or tactics you've heard of for this age group or dealing with these issues, please let me know. Taking the step of sending her to a well-run and safe school - even if people sometimes feel mad or sad there - has felt like a great choice for us this fall. But it's also hard some days, and so I am holding onto good mornings like today when I got to see my girl smile, dance, trace letters and sing. I am holding onto seeing her pride and pure love of learning in action. And I am feeling so blessed today that I got to enjoy her little self blossoming in this new environment, too. I suppose parents have to adjust to preschool, too. :)      

     

 

Bible Readings and Re-readings

Classic Eva expression, 3 1/2 yrs old

Eva's really into hearing stories from her picture Bible lately (thank you Mary Miller for the baptismal gift!) It's fascinating  to try to think about what theology a three-year old gets, needs or absorbs - but of course I do it anyway. She understands many things recently about God - God is strong, powerful, made everything, gets mad at bad kings and bad people, used good kings and Queen Esther to help other people, saved baby Moses, beat Goliath, and crashed down the walls at Jericho. These are her fave OT stories lately - and she seems to ingest the meat of the story and repeats kernels of their truth to me at random times, integrating story parts and cause and effect with surprising comprehension.

When it comes to the NT, she is not as into it yet - which makes sense to me, since there are less intriguing stories and more parables there that she just hears as slightly disjointed stories. :) She does talk about how Jesus can calm wind and waves, can heal people, helps the blind and lame, loves children, was baptized, was a baby that many people were excited to see be born, and told people to build their houses on rocks. She now asks if our home is on a rock, "Even though we can't see any rocks under my bed;" she will jump up and down in her bed and say "Yep, I feel a rock momma, we are on solid rock." So no metaphor comprehension yet. :)

She also has asked me to baptize her in the tub several times, likes to pretend she is baby Moses and baby Jesus, and is asking about praying for various worries, illnesses, and fears.

My favorite story of her appropriating scripture happened a couple nights ago, when we had just read - again - the story of Jesus healing the lame man whose friends lowered him down through the roof. She loves this one, and we sing a little song with it, and she knows the story almost word for word.  After we read this one she said, "Mom, my legs are lame, I ran too fast today; can you pray for them?"  So I prayed, smiling the whole time, holding her little knees - and as I prayed for God to protect my little girl's legs and health and strength, it struck me that she really probably thinks that this is what Jesus did - what he does now. If your legs are tired, broken, or hurt, you pray and then they are fixed. Faith like a child, right? :) I was reminded of the grace of simple faith and truth, and also realized that I could probably pray for my daughter's legs more often. Even as I grinned at her interpretation of "lame," I think she is getting the love and strength and life-changing power of this story. What good news we get to retell!      

Do You Know Your Continents?

One of my favorite things about Eva being in preschool is getting to notice that she knows things that I and Peter haven't taught her. As in, it is obvious now that there is another stream of knowledge feeding her little life in addition to whatever we, Sunday School and life throw her way. :)

Yesterday we were talking about her address, how we live on North Sawyer, and she got big eyes and said,"North, South, East, West, all around the world." It was obvious that hearing "North" had started her memory onto something else related, so I asked if that phrase was from a song or something that she had learned at school. And then she sang this song, crossed her eyes, and made me smile and laugh, really hard. :)

Fall - out of the city

I've realized that I miss "getting back to nature" in the fall. Although Chicago has definitely got it going on, it's during this season that I most miss Minnesota's towering trees and rolling fields, and Door County's cool lakes and beautiful rocks, and the beauty of leaves falling, stalks waving in the wind, bright sun on a crisp cool day - what autumn feels like out of the city.

We've found several ways to get outside this season, including feeding ducks and kicking up leaves at Gomper's Park, visiting Peterson Nature Center, and enjoying bike rides, walks, etc. in our neighborhood park. We've also had fun hanging out at our ward's Fall Festival (which was held on an 80 degree Saturday!), and heading out to get pumpkins, see animals, and take a wagon ride with Danielsons this weekend.

Maybe my favorite escape from the city happened a few weekends ago, on a crisp sunny fall day when we trekked out to Rockford's Rock Cut State Park for a hike, paddle boat ride, picnic lunch, and trip to the kid's museum in town. It reminded me of childhood locales we used to visit like Quarry Hill and Oxbow Park, and we had a wonderful day. Eva is a pretty good hiker too - especially when we meet dogs on the trails. :)

We are planning to head out there again this season... soon!

Eva-isms - two more

I forgot a couple additional standard Eva sayings:

- "puter" - computer, pronounced just like computer minus the first syllable
- "Pee-caw-joh" - currently how she is pronouncing Chicago. :) This word has gone through a couple derivations, this one is my favorite.

Eva-isms

I've noticed certain vocabulary "isms" that are particular to how Eva talks at 3 1/2 yrs. A couple friends at church were even commenting on a couple oft-repeated words of hers, which made me smile and realize that even in the name of accuracy, I don't want her to outgrow the certain way she pronounces some words - not yet at least.

The most common Eva-isms these days include:

- "actually," said correctly and all, but just used - A LOT (I've noticed how much I say this word - correlated?)
- "excuse me," said again, correctly, but very, very often - when she disagrees, wants to talk, wants you to do something differently, etc. etc.
- "cans" - her version of because, or 'cause
- "I begot" - her version of forgot or forget
- "bemember" - remember
- "just joking'" - when she is being funny, or says something incorrectly, she laughs and says, "oh, sorry, I was just joking"
- "I'm uh ladee" accent; she LOVES accents of all kinds, and hearing me imitate various accents lately, and has even developed her own accent called "being a lady" - it's pretty funny. :)  

Grateful for this Fall...

- Baking fresh peach and apple crisp
- Beautiful fall wedding on University of Chicago's campus
- Boots, sweaters and wraps
- Warm sun on the porch in the mornings
- Pool, pretzels, drinks and laughing with twenty-somethings who graciously included our three year old
- Family-made empanadas and truffles just down the block
- Soft blankets, nose nuzzles and cuddling
- Bedtime with Eva
- Finally making friends with the local UPS store
- Puddle jumping
- Morning prayer in Celtic prayerbook
-12 years of marriage to an amazing man
- Berenstein Bears books
- Lots of new babies being born into the world this season
- Crunchy leaves at the playground
- Eva's declaration that she wants to be a ballet teacher when she grows up
- Free training sessions with fun strangers at the gym
- Lasagna, chili, and homemade soup
- Striped umbrellas and jean jackets
- Discovering Almond cake
- Afternoons in Evanston
- Eva putting her arm around my neck on the couch to pull me close
- Laughing in bed in the mornings
- Getting into a preschool routine
- Bookstores and lattes
- Fresh new season full of fall energy

August into... Fall!

The end of our summer was filled with so much fun - trips to the pool with friends, gardening and biking out in the sun, great softball games with the Ainslies (church league, we lost by one point in our playoffs!), and some other memorable events too.

Over Peter's birthday weekend at the end of July, we traveled to Cedar Point Amusement Park with almost the whole VerHage clan and with the Teranella family. So much fun! Highlights included road-tripping with Josh, Kara and Michael; Lego store trip for fun while in town; Eva finding fast friends in both Jaxson and Lincoln; Eva going on her first roller coaster, car rides, swings, boats, etc. etc. - and loving them all; playing games at night in our cool cabins; walking up the street to the pool with the kids, I think we made four trips there in two days; climbing up to the loft to play with Alicia and Dave; meeting Julia, and catching up with Lynn and Steve; birthday cake and big bbq dinner for the whole crew; sprinting the entire length of the park on the last night (with Josh, Michael, Alicia and Dave), to try to get to the last ride before we were told the line closed, and then realizing that we wouldn't have had to. :)

For Peter's birthday we also saw our first Chicago Fire game, which we had been meaning to do forever! We got fab front row seats, had fun watching all the action up close on a great cool night, and enjoyed ourselves even though they tied - again.

We also made a trip to Michigan in August to see Namma and Napa and had a great morning with Hannah and Jacob on their farm again (thanks Amy!) We fed the horse and rabbits, swam, picked peaches off the tree, and ran around their big property - ah, such fun in the country!

Other highlights as our summer drew to a close were visiting with Verdoorns who were in town for the weekend, finishing Eva's first ballet class with flying colors, going to Ravinia for my birthday, hanging out with friends, seeing Jazzin at the Shedd, and having my mom come babysit during the week while we all prepped for the school year starting up again and meetings getting into full swing again.

We also moved Eva into a big girl bed (thank you Craig's list!), because she was already too long for her well-loved toddler bed (thank you Danielsons!) She loves the extra reading and cuddling space and so far has not fallen out once. Between getting ready for preschool this fall, her new big bed, and wearing size 5 and 6 clothing, Eva seems oh so much bigger and ready to take on the world somehow. We're ready - bring on the fun! :)    

40 Years of Faith, Family and Friends

Another big event this summer was celebrating my parent's 40th Anniversary. We did some celebrating with the whole family out in Seattle, and then Peter and I helped host an open house in Rochester with lots of old and new friends in attendance. It all came together great and was a blast!

It was very cool to see people from my childhood gather and share in the celebration of the values my parents have always worked to embody. I was reminded of those things that most define them, as I thought about what it meant for my parents to reach this forty year milestone. My mom and dad are not perfect - of course no family is - but from the start of their relationship, they centered their relationship on faith, family and friendships. FAITH: They were part of underground Bible studies in college, were fresh-faced evangelists to friends and family members, and knew they were called to be in ministry in the church and to love and serve others. From the beginning, they anchored their relationship and our family's foundation to God and to a local church. That is a big reason that today, I still consider many Salem Rd folks like my extended family; they've known me longer and better then anyone else, and they have always been there and stepped into my life and my story.  FAMILY: Even before they were married, they knew they wanted two kids, and they had names picked out for a girl (Elizabeth Margaret) and a boy (Timothy David).  It is funny to me, now after becoming a parent and naming our firstborn, to think back to when my parents were this age, to realize that they once had kids at this age and that they gave me and my brother our names and the start to our stories. Sometimes I forget that they were at this stage too, that they weren't always "adult parents of adult children." FRIENDS:  From as far back as I can remember, we had people in our house and went to visit and eat with friends at their houses. My parents worked to be hospitable, generous, and welcoming friends, and I remember often heading home from church with a new family who visited following us for a beef roast meal, or dropping off homemade jam/crisp/bread to someone during the week. Even without a lot of financial cushion, my parents valued helping and giving to those with less, which I think has always stuck with me as part of how we live like Christ and love our friends and neighbors. 

Celebrating with my mom and dad on that humid summer day in Minnesota, I felt so much gratitude. I felt the sweetness of remembering the good and the faithful things that my parents and their community had done so well for forty years. I felt the joy of watching children and grandchildren grow and move forward, of the generational movement that my mom and dad have helped advance. And I felt the peace that comes whenever I acknowledge that God is always good, and working for good, in those who love Him and follow Him; and whether it is forty years, or forty minutes, we each have the opportunity to keep learning and relearning how to follow, and love, and be loved by, such a good and gracious God. What a gift! What a thing to celebrate! So thanks mom and dad for giving me so much good in my story.  Thanks be to God.   

Firsts

Firsts this summer that I want to remember include:

- first Father's Day present that she picked out by herself (fish wind chimes from 10,000 Villages)

- first church picnic (with LOTS of sunscreen, courtesy of Sanne)

- first time writing her own name (mostly; A is still hard; and the E has 4-5 horizontal lines)  :)


- first time on a roller coaster, and other kiddie rides (at Cedar Point)

- first paddleboat ride (at cabin) 

 - first trip to Seattle (visiting Bo and Megs with Grammy and Gramps for their 40th)

- first week going to VBS (at NPCC, Egypt and Joseph theme)

 

- first Lego sets (Winnie the Pooh fishing, and outdoor fruit market stand), first Trio set (Construction set with wrecking ball), and first princess doll (Ariel for the bath)   

 - first play (Rapunzel, that we saw with Kate, Izey and Ando)

 - first garden - for all three of us :) - including a plot at church and one in our backyard

 - and that reminds me... first backyard :)

 
- first ballet class

- first Cubs game at Wrigley (on an unseasonably cold and rainy night, with dad, Leah, Sanne and families.)
 

Travel logue part deux

Another great trip we made this summer was to the cabin in WI that we've rented for five years in a row. It's situated on a beautiful spot off a channel that leads into a great lake, and has shady views, a paddle boat, a pontoon that we take out many times a day, and a nice little town nearby where we go jogging, get email and coffee, and visited the thrift shop and grocery store.

This year was a fun one because Eva was old enough to do so much more than in previous years. We went swimming a lot, including braving high waves on a very windy, very humid day, with her floaty and while the boat was tethered to the trees nearby.  She went paddleboating with Grammy and Gramps, wanted to play baby and mommy mosquito and get "seahorse" rides in the water. She helped roast marshmallows for s'mores, practiced her dance routines with Grammy, and even helped set the table.  We also enjoyed game time at the cabin, finding a new park and nearby ice cream place, watching West Wing Season 3 in the evenings, and watching Tangled (adults only). 

On the drive home from the cabin, we saw lots of farms, animals, and beautiful country-scapes on the way. Eva enjoyed this change of view from her backseat vantage point, and noticing what was passing outside the window helped pass much of the time driving.

My favorite car comment of hers was as we were driving through cornfields in Wisconsin. She pointed to the right side of the car and said, "Mom, look how tall that corn is growing!" And I agreed. Then she pointed to the left side of the car, at what was probably a soybean field, and asked, "Is that shorter field where they grow the popcorn?"