Ah-May (Amen)

Eva is steadily learning when and how to pray. Before meals that include both Peter and I (usually supper), she will stop us when we both sit down by saying "ah-may, ah-may" (amen), while nodding her head. Then she points to one of us, usually me, to signify that I should start to pray. She holds her hands together under her chin, and watches us intently, sometimes whispering along while we pray. When we say "Amen," she says "ah-may" again, and about half the time, gets upset and points to the other person to indicate that she wants someone to keep on praying.

Once we went back and forth between Peter and I praying before our meal about three times each, because Eva was so upset each time one of us ended our prayer and stopped praying. That particular instance, I was having one of those days where I didn't feel like praying at all - much less over and over as an example for my kiddo. I remember that I started to get a little teary eyed as my 1 1/2 year old kept clearly telling her mom, then her dad - then her mom, then her dad - to keep praying. She listened and engaged with us during each prayer; she was not playing or distracted by something else. Who knows what she actually got out of the content of our prayers, but I sure noticed my own content. Slowly, throughout our mini-prayer-marathon, I moved from my beginning prayers of, "thank you for our food and our day and for our daughter," to praying things like, "Thank you that you listen to us all day even when the days are hard; help me to remember to pray more God; I need you more then I realize."

It felt very profound to me to be pushed to pray by Eva, and to be praying both for her, and for me, in a more genuine way before that meal. I realized that I don't always really pray from my heart like that when I pause for a cursory prayer before a meal; heck, we don't even always pause before every meal to pray. Except now, when we're with Eva, gathered as a little family with her pointing at us, whispering along and solemnly folding her hands, smiling and watching us, listening to our every word as we talk to God and talk to her - it makes me want to do it more.